A Traditional Handfasting...
There are many variations from all walks of life that go into one of our handfastings. Most take place outside. Usually your guests will wait for you in a circle, I will explain what is going to happen during the service and ask that whatever your guests beliefs that they will support your union on this day. Sometimes I will call the corners, and at other times I will do this before the ceremony, so as not to upset anyone of a religious nature. You then have two options one is to enter the circle from a different path to that of your husband or you may choose to enter together. This decision is down to you both - some are already living together and enter together - some are coming from different path's and wish to unite as one in the power of the circle.
It is often a pagan belief that the bride owns herself - therefore as no living person owns her she does not come into the circle on her fathers arm to be given away - although, this can be changed to what you wish to do. For example you may wish your son/brother or father to give you his blessing and walk you into the circle or you may want a best friend to do it. If this is the case then depending on your style of service I will incorporate them into their own position within your service. Another example would be to say your Maid of honour becomes your "Lady of the forest".
The picture on the left is of Kelly & Nick entering the circle together.
We usually use this time to play a special piece of music and at this wedding as Kelly & Nick felt it to be important, they walked around the circle saying hello to their guests and nodding to each of the elements that was represented in the circle.
The bride and groom will then stand in front of the Priest/Priestess and declare their intention to be hand-fasted.
As nerves usually get the better, of one party - I usually walk them through the service and ask them to repeat after me. Sometimes, you may be nervous - so this is a nice way of reassuring you and explaining to your guests what is happening as we go along.
THE SWORD
Sometimes the groom may carry a Sword into the service. A sword can represent many things, cutting ties from the past and past relationships to the offer of protection to you and your family. Pictured here on the right is Andy and Keira - Andy is kneeling on bended knee and ifs offering the sword to Keira along with his commitment to honour and protect her. Keira has placed her right hand on the sword and is swearing to accept his commitment and is offering to commit to him in kind.
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THE CANDLES
The Candles here, are representing the joining and union of your relationship. Each person has a separate candle and flame - those flames are individual as you are, and the joining together of both candles is representing your lives as they join together to become one. as does the flame become one and burns brighter and stronger... Candles can be represented by the elements, by your birth stone (colour) or just by your favourite colours - the joining candle is usually white as this represents the Spirit of your union. |
THE BLOOD CEREMONY
As with all of our ceremonies, you can put in or take out which parts appeal to you most. We have had vampire weddings where they have just joined with a ribbon and a blood ceremony and we have had many that do not wish to have the blood ceremony included. However, for those that do - we do not slash wrists etc, a simple pin prick will suffice as it is the meaning behind the act that is represented and not the act itself. Here on the right Paul and Lisa have been joined by blood and I am just placing a band aid on Paul's hand. They have mixed their blood to their beliefs and similar to the candles this represents the joining of their very existence.
As with all of our ceremonies, you can put in or take out which parts appeal to you most. We have had vampire weddings where they have just joined with a ribbon and a blood ceremony and we have had many that do not wish to have the blood ceremony included. However, for those that do - we do not slash wrists etc, a simple pin prick will suffice as it is the meaning behind the act that is represented and not the act itself. Here on the right Paul and Lisa have been joined by blood and I am just placing a band aid on Paul's hand. They have mixed their blood to their beliefs and similar to the candles this represents the joining of their very existence.
CHORDS / RIBBON
Again, another matter to try and decide upon. Chords or ribbon? The tying of your hands is perhaps the most important part of the ceremony - however, with each part being so special I don't believe any part of these ceremony's are more important than another.
You may decide upon just the priestess joining your hands together, this is often done with one red ribbon (representing power & passion - or you could say it was representing the element Fire - this depends on your beliefs or ideals, nothing is wrong or right, it's what works for you! ) or it may be done if you decide to plait a multitude of ribbon together as one - with each colour ribbon representing something apart from the elements. Once braided or joined to together the priestess will ask you to take your vows and bind you to one another.
However, I do like to encourage you to get the whole family involved! With the many different beliefs we could talk all day over which wrist to fasten the chord, both or one, left or right - how long should the ribbon be? 9foot or 3 foot? Again, nothing is wrong or right. But, I can suggest if you are using ribbon - you try 3 yards. Three is a magical number (the power of three ) and yards is a convenient amount with enough to loop over and tie!
Here at Country Blessings, I have often encouraged couples to get their best friends or relatives to take on a small role - and this is the ideal way. I have often asked the couple to make promises and in between each promise a guest has come up and given their blessing, whilst tying a coloured ribbon over the couples hands. For example, at my own hand-fasting my brother in law to be - is certainly the joker of the family, so he binded us with a yellow sunny ribbon which represented laughter and happiness and he said as he tied the yellow ribbon - "I give you my blessing with Love & Laughter" .each other friend and relation held another coloured ribbon and gave their blessing with the the coloured ribbon they held. (For nerves, we wrote the line down on the inside of the ribbon with a permanent marker pen) .
Zoey and Dan are pictured above both using their left hands for the binding.
Again, another matter to try and decide upon. Chords or ribbon? The tying of your hands is perhaps the most important part of the ceremony - however, with each part being so special I don't believe any part of these ceremony's are more important than another.
You may decide upon just the priestess joining your hands together, this is often done with one red ribbon (representing power & passion - or you could say it was representing the element Fire - this depends on your beliefs or ideals, nothing is wrong or right, it's what works for you! ) or it may be done if you decide to plait a multitude of ribbon together as one - with each colour ribbon representing something apart from the elements. Once braided or joined to together the priestess will ask you to take your vows and bind you to one another.
However, I do like to encourage you to get the whole family involved! With the many different beliefs we could talk all day over which wrist to fasten the chord, both or one, left or right - how long should the ribbon be? 9foot or 3 foot? Again, nothing is wrong or right. But, I can suggest if you are using ribbon - you try 3 yards. Three is a magical number (the power of three ) and yards is a convenient amount with enough to loop over and tie!
Here at Country Blessings, I have often encouraged couples to get their best friends or relatives to take on a small role - and this is the ideal way. I have often asked the couple to make promises and in between each promise a guest has come up and given their blessing, whilst tying a coloured ribbon over the couples hands. For example, at my own hand-fasting my brother in law to be - is certainly the joker of the family, so he binded us with a yellow sunny ribbon which represented laughter and happiness and he said as he tied the yellow ribbon - "I give you my blessing with Love & Laughter" .each other friend and relation held another coloured ribbon and gave their blessing with the the coloured ribbon they held. (For nerves, we wrote the line down on the inside of the ribbon with a permanent marker pen) .
Zoey and Dan are pictured above both using their left hands for the binding.
Here Katie, adds her Blessing to Kelly & Nick's Binding.
VOWS. You can of course, then write your own vows out for each-other or I can help you, should you wish to vow / make a promise to your partner. Some couples have just recited poetry, others have put a lot of time and thought into it. One thing which often works though, is to write your vows out and read them to your partner(reciting them is difficult when the nerves hit on the big day) . Many of our medieval or mixed pagan weddings have included reading your vows and then giving the read scroll, after sealing with a kiss to your partner, as a memento of your day. My husband & I keep ours framed with our chords by the front door - put there to remind ourselves of the promises we made to each-other on our special day.
Pictured on the right is Keira preparing to read her vows to Andy on their Handfasting day.
Pictured on the right is Keira preparing to read her vows to Andy on their Handfasting day.
CAKE
Sharing a cake with your new spouse is a time-honored tradition that goes back man centuries, so if you're looking for something a bit different, you might want to try something that reflects that history. The idea of the big ostentatious white wedding cake is a relatively new one; in fact, in days gone by, the wedding or handfasting cake was actually quite simple and plain. Sometimes it was brushed with sugar or honey if the bride and groom were well-off, but often it was just a cake with little to no ornamentation. An important part of any circle or group ritual is the "cakes and ale" served at the end. The sharing of food and drink - we like to use t as a way to let your guests experience the first drink and the first "taste" with you. It does serve a twofold purpose: to help "ground" the celebrants after intense energy work, and the simple plain fun it is to bask in the "afterglow" of ritual in the spirit of good fellowship and celebration. Certain foods, of course, can be featured a certain sabbats: Bread at Lammas, Eggs at Ostara, and Apples at Samhain to name a few. However, seasonal celebrations are not the only celebrations that warrant special foods. Plus, as usual - it's your day so it's about what you want. Caz & Martin pictured on the left had a little thing about the Cinnamon Swirl, so they had one large one to share between them! When planning a handfasting feast or bringing a dish to a potluck, it is always a good idea to include foods that promote good luck, happiness, prosperity, and fertility. Sweet foods such as honey (mentioned above and again with the Meade below) and chocolate (which is considered a powerful aphrodisiac!) should be featured, as they symbolize the sweetness of a loving union. Likewise, fruits (Love) and nuts (prosperity) are welcome. Beneficial herbs and spices include basil, cinnamon, cloves and saffron, to name a few.! |
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Meade / Ale / Water or Wine
Going together hand in hand is always the drink to your health - carried out at the same time as your cake, towards the end of the service. This represents the first drink and the first nourishment towards your marriage or handfasting. This can be done with a traditional Chalice, favourite bottle, glass or goblet. You may share one goblet between you or opt for the traditional sharing of a goblet or glass by looping your arms. It is also an idea to for the guests to share this first experience with you, as mentioned earlier in the Cake section! Pictured on the right here - Paul & Redd share their first drink! |
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Then traditionally we come to the end of the service - not to be missed is the broom though! Where the sword can cut through troubles and offer protection the broom or besom sweeps out negativity and allows you to jump it - thereby portraying your leap into the future together as man and wife.
OTHER THINGS NOT INCLUDED IN THE ABOVE TRADITIONAL SERVICE:
Wedding Rings - Often incorporated into a handfasting service above with or without a Chalice. If you do not wish to remove your wedding rings then I can Bless the rings during the service. We have had birds of prey fly into the circle with rings (we know several falconers, so do ask) as well using them on the wand, representing air and the great circle of life - like the native american leader Black elk states "all things are in a circle " as your wedding rings are.
Bell Ringing - Often using young children to ring the bell at the beginning and end of the service.
Flower Fairies - instead of Bridesmaids. Another way to involve children of friends by dropping rose petals mixed with herbs for you both to walk on in the circle.
Hunter and/or Maiden of the Forest - Traditional Best man and Maid of Honour. Often used to hold the besom, bang in the start of the service with wooden Staffs or to escort the handfasting couple in, individually. If a themed wedding, this can be changed to Medieval - Man at Arms, Pirates- first mate, Gothic - Familiars etc. etc - you get the idea!
OTHER THINGS NOT INCLUDED IN THE ABOVE TRADITIONAL SERVICE:
Wedding Rings - Often incorporated into a handfasting service above with or without a Chalice. If you do not wish to remove your wedding rings then I can Bless the rings during the service. We have had birds of prey fly into the circle with rings (we know several falconers, so do ask) as well using them on the wand, representing air and the great circle of life - like the native american leader Black elk states "all things are in a circle " as your wedding rings are.
Bell Ringing - Often using young children to ring the bell at the beginning and end of the service.
Flower Fairies - instead of Bridesmaids. Another way to involve children of friends by dropping rose petals mixed with herbs for you both to walk on in the circle.
Hunter and/or Maiden of the Forest - Traditional Best man and Maid of Honour. Often used to hold the besom, bang in the start of the service with wooden Staffs or to escort the handfasting couple in, individually. If a themed wedding, this can be changed to Medieval - Man at Arms, Pirates- first mate, Gothic - Familiars etc. etc - you get the idea!