Celebration of Life Ceremony.
I have been called upon from time to time to do a service as a "Celebration of Life". I can not tell you the order of the service, only that each one I write is an individual and personal about that persons and their family history. Sometimes it can be awkward, I remember one done for a very special man who had been in some sort of military secret position - there was so much I couldn't mention. However, on talking to his family I found that my approach to such a service is to act as a friend who wants to support the family. As no two people are the same, I need to talk to many of the family and friends. I spend time writing emails or contacting family & friends by phone (when far away) and trying in one way - to write a "this is your life" episode. No one person experiences grief the same way, I have met many mourners in my time, be it for animals or humans. I know it sounds daft but sometimes the only thing I can give them is a hug, and sometimes it is just this sort of human touch that gets family and friends to start reflecting on that persons life. People tell you stories of a love of golf, knitting, or the first job, how a father helped them ride a bike or taught them to swim - how a mother mourned her husband and lived for another twenty years - each person I talk with is shaping the celebration service that I will write. There are tears and laughter, joy and pain.
At my last Pagan funeral, summoned by the co-op funeral services the dearly departed had a fondness for rum and even the manager of the local off license made an appearance. Fortunately, the gentleman concerned did not have a drink problem and I was able to mention this during the service and bring a smile of memory to a few faces, who were reminded of the departed's favourite tipple. This gentleman also enjoyed gardening so with that thought in mind, I lit a candle for his spirit at the start of the service and had bought a cauldron with me filled with mole hill dirt. At the end of the service I asked each person to take a handful of seeds off of a tray and place it in the Cauldron of dirt, this was given to the departed's sister and the candle was given to the mans partner (who didn't have a garden). Some six months later, I heard from the family again, delighted that wild flowers were all over the garden where the ashes of the departed gentleman had been placed under the seeds.
A celebration of someone's life does bring joy and sadness but sharing the memories keeps that person with us and helps us have a deeper understanding and a fuller memory of that person - that's what gives us solace and comfort.
I
At my last Pagan funeral, summoned by the co-op funeral services the dearly departed had a fondness for rum and even the manager of the local off license made an appearance. Fortunately, the gentleman concerned did not have a drink problem and I was able to mention this during the service and bring a smile of memory to a few faces, who were reminded of the departed's favourite tipple. This gentleman also enjoyed gardening so with that thought in mind, I lit a candle for his spirit at the start of the service and had bought a cauldron with me filled with mole hill dirt. At the end of the service I asked each person to take a handful of seeds off of a tray and place it in the Cauldron of dirt, this was given to the departed's sister and the candle was given to the mans partner (who didn't have a garden). Some six months later, I heard from the family again, delighted that wild flowers were all over the garden where the ashes of the departed gentleman had been placed under the seeds.
A celebration of someone's life does bring joy and sadness but sharing the memories keeps that person with us and helps us have a deeper understanding and a fuller memory of that person - that's what gives us solace and comfort.
I